Thank You Mom

Sometimes I think with the grand horizon in my lens it's difficult to appreciate the ground that I'm rooted to. Perhaps I will understand it once I am old and better seasoned with the wisdom of love, but really it is my mother's devotion which I have so easily overlooked in planning for this journey. It's difficult for any child to comprehend the meaning of sacrificing one life for another, and I think that is what I'm realizing my mom has done for me. After aspiring to the highest peaks, whether in school, with hobbies, or the mountains themselves, I feel guilty for so easily overlooking who has lifted my feet from the ground. It is my mom who has lent me her time, money, and breathed every breathe of excitement and anxiety with me, whom I feel guilty for leaving at home, filled with worry. Maybe it's because I'm so insecure with the world at my doorstep, but I cannot say that I am brave enough to venture into it alone without her support. From surprising me with her presents, tirelessly helping me plan, and spending those restless nights by the phone with dread, I know that she is really the force that has shaped me into all that I am proud of. And only a parent's love could reconcile what abuses I have done against her- my recklessness, my ingratitude, and my willingness to leave home behind- for this I am glad she can forgive me because sometimes I cannot forgive myself. And I know it is trite facing my guilt this way, but truly I have not yet learned how to love like she has. It is the best I can do to say thanks, and I love you, mom.